Friday, July 29, 2005

Things aren't always what they seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied... "Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Disney Land

Guess wat I am doing b4 I come to update my blog..? I am studying~! Heez..though din study quite long..cos eyes closing…but it’s a good start!! Heez..

Went to sch this morning..then afternoon come home check my mail then realize that my boss dun let moi off even though moi suppose to off on sat now…asked moi to do this do that..argh~!

Moi din go out and walk walk and play for kinda long time liao ever since many things happened..

Lucky moi buddies and friends occasionally got ask moi out for meet up..heez..realli appreciate that..

Have been super busy after my mum turned ill..All the house work in turn become my job..everyweek end gotta vacuum and mop the floor..wash the toilet..wipe the dust off the furnitures..etc..everydae reached home gotta bring my doggie for a walk..then after that my hands will keep touching water till I turn in..will make fruit juice n help my dad to wash the bowls and plates,wok and pots while he cook..and I help him prepare..after dinner wash the bowls and plates..dunno y thru out the nite there will always be dirty bowls and plates left on the basin even though I washed them all…water the plants..etc etc etc..just too many to mention…

After my mummy came back from hospital after the major op to get rid the cancer cells on her bones..she has been crying everydae..negative thoughts always surrounding her even though we keep reassuring her that everything will be alright after this tough period.. Thing got worst recently when mummy went for radiotherapy..her left hand strengthless and her neck and back pain..and she feels that her flesh harden due to the radiotherapy..and things that she eat will vomit out.. =( She often cry as she feels terrible and she feels that she is useless..tears will start to flow down my cheeks too even though i tried to force back my tears.. =( now even dinner I gotta feed her as she is strengthless…

Reali hope that this tough period will be over for her soon and she will be as healthy as last time..continue to nag and scream at us..

Hopefully workload for me will lessen when the maid come in maybe sm where next week..Finally the maid is coming after I done the exam for ppl who wanna employ maid for the 1st time…u needa pass at least 80% b4 u pass and can employ a maid.. -_-”” spent 1 late nite doing abt 50 over true or false questions..got 1 wrong..heez..aniwae its an online thingy..after I got my result can immediately print out the cert..heez..

I’m tire…Realli hope some 1 bring moi out for a walk…how I wish sm 1 bring me go Disney Land and play and scream my heart out like a little child..^^

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Seven Rules For The Rewarding Life - Robin Sharma

A rewarding life is a simple creation, made up of daily acts of
excellence, contribution and self-leadership. All too often, we
believe that a great life requires us to do something heroic and
involves a grand gesture that makes us stand out from the crowd.

However, this is not the case.

Instead, a richly rewarding life occurs when we commit ourselves to
being excellent on a daily basis and committing small, consistent
acts of 'minor greatness' which over the course of a lifetime
amount to something very grand and significant. In my work as an
author and leadership thinker, I have the opportunity to show
people how to live their best lives and create a lasting legacy in
the process. What follows are seven rules that will help you lift
your life to its next level.

1. Put People Over Possessions.

All of the wisdom literature essentially says the same thing: A
rewarding life is defined by the quality of your relationships. At
the end of your life when you are on your deathbed, you will not
ask the nurse to wheel in your new car nor will you ask the orderly
to cart in the money that rests in your bank account. Instead, you
will ask that those you love be near you in your final moments and
reflect on your memories you have all enjoyed.

If this fact will be important to you then, it should be important
to you now. I have found in my own life that I am at my best when
my relationships are strong and I am nurturing each and every one
of them. If you are finding that you lack fulfillment in your life,
dedicate yourself to giving more to your personal and professional
relationships and you will be pleasantly surprised at the results.

2. Never Stop Doing What You Love

One of my favorite questions is a simple one: 'What would the child
you once were think of the adult that you have become?' People who
live richly rewarding lives do not have wrinkled souls. They have
done what it takes to maintain their childlike heart and, in doing
so, bring a daily dose of passion to their hours. Further, their
passion is contagious and they enlighten everyone around them.

Before you go to sleep tonight, take a silent moment or two and
reflect on whether you are still doing the things you love.

Do you love your career? Do you have hobbies that make your heart
sing? Do you enjoy the people you surround yourself with? And if
you are not fulfilled in these areas, ask yourself what course
corrections must you take to make changes.

When we were kids, there were so many things that made our eyes
sparkle and our hearts flutter. And yet, as we age, we often give
up on those things for the more serious pursuits that we believe
adults engage in.
To renew your life, get back to doing the things that you love the
most and watch your life soar.

3. Be True to You

All to often, we live the lives of other people. We do not live our
truth. We engage in a career because it is what our parents wanted
us to engage in. We act in a certain way because we believe that is
the way society wants us to act. But the greater the incongruency
between the person that you are deep down at the core and the way
your public persona appears, the greater the amount of
dissatisfaction you will notice in your life. When you begin to
listen to your heart and show up authentically, your life will
change.

Stop doing things because that is what others want you to do and
start living your life according to what is truly right for you as
a human being. Rather than always giving into the expectations of
others, make sure you honor yourself as you live out your life.

Because, at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live
with yourself - no one else.

4. Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom.

All too often, we get hung up on failures. Yet failures are the
highway to success and the mistakes help us learn how to succeed.

As one philosopher said: "chaos gives birth to dancing stars." Or
as I say in my seminars, there is nothing wrong with making a
mistake - there is, however, something wrong with making the same
mistake over and over again. If you fail at something, ask yourself
where the opportunity lies and search out the gateway to growth.
But make sure you learn from this lesson so that your past serves
you and you get better and wiser each and every day.

In my own life, I have learned the most from my most difficult
experiences. Adversity and suffering has introduced me to my
strengths. If I experience a setback, I know that there is a larger
picture unfolding and I look for the gift. Too many people get
deflated in their lives because they feel the universe is unfair to
them and there is just too much adversity occurring around them.

The wise turn their stumbling blocks into stepping stones and use
every apparently negative event to expand their personal
dimensions, their wisdom and their performance levels. Remember, a
failure is only a failure if you accept it as such. As always, we
create our reality and we see the world not as it is but as we are.
When you do the inner work to work on your own perceptions, your
life changes.

5. Make Your Mark.

One of the deepest of all human needs is the need to live for
something more important than ourselves. I encourage you to take a
few minutes to reflect on what your mark will be when you are no
longer here. How will the generations who will follow you know that
you have graced this planet?

What acts of courage and contribution will you engage in that will
add value not only to your own life but to the lives of those
around you. The good news is, it has never been so easy in the
history of humanity to make your mark in the world. Through
technology, one idea can transform lives everywhere. And your mark
need not be made on a global level. A single person committed to
helping others in a community, in a school or even in a family, is
exceptionally worthy. Remember, we have a choice in this so called
new economy: We can curse the darkness or we can be the ones to
light the candle. Leaders always see themselves as lights.

6. Do the Inner Work.

Success on the outside is created by success on the inside. My own
life changed when I got serious about doing the inner work and
transforming myself as a human being. I began to look at my wiring,
my perceptions, my filters and the limitations I created through my
thinking. I began to read books, go to seminars, journal, and go
deep in accessing the person that I was and the person that I was
destined to be. No great life can be created without
self-improvement. It is not a quick process but it is by far the
most fulfilling one that any human being can engage in. Often we
blame others for our unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

But as I say in my book Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold
His Ferrari 'blaming others is nothing more than excusing
yourself.' And each time you point the finger at someone else, you
are assigning away a little bit more of your power as a human
being. And if you continue to blame others for your relationship
troubles, your career dissatisfaction or your health issues, for
example, eventually you will grow into a powerless human being.

The moment your life changes, is the moment you step up to the
plate and say to yourself 'It all begins with me.' Wise and highly
evolved human beings always take complete (100%) responsibility for
their circumstances and in doing so not only retain their power but
set about making the changes that need to be made. Commit yourself
daily to one hour spent in silent reflection or reading of the
wisdom literature. Take the time to put pen to paper to map out
your goals and get clarity on where you want to be four, five, ten,
twenty years from now. Remember, the best way to predict the future
is to create it.

7. Live on the Skinny Branch.

One of the best ways I have discovered in my own life to stay
engaged, excited and enthusiastic is to inject my days with a sense
of adventure and challenge. The human brain has a need for novelty.

We get complacent when we keep doing the same things with the same
people in the same way everyday. Interesting enough, if we do the
same things with the same people in the same way everyday, our life
will look the same five, ten, fifteen years from now.

It is like that old saying says, if you keep doing the same things,
you will certainly get the same results. If you want to see a new
reality enfold for you, you must start doing different things. So
today, commit yourself from your heart, to infuse your days with
challenges. Begin to take small risks to spice up your professional
and your personal life. Begin to read books you never thought you
would read. Try foods you never thought you would try. Pick up the
phone and get to know people you never thought you could meet.

Take up hobbies you never thought you could do. Stretch yourself as
a human being and you will be pleasantly surprised by the rewards.

You will feel better about yourself, you will see new results in
your life and you will have an incredible amount of fun. Remember,
on your deathbed, what will fill you heart with the greatest regret
will not be all the risks you took but all the risks you did not
take. Or as Papa Wallenda, the great highwire walker once said:
'Life is lived out on the wire, the rest is just waiting.'

Creating True Prosperity - Shakti Gawain

True prosperity is not something we create overnight. In fact, it
is not a fixed goal, a place where we will finally arrive, or a
certain state that we will someday achieve. It is an ongoing
process of finding fulfillment that continues to unfold and deepen
throughout our lives.

In this chapter, I will outline seven steps on the road to an
increasing sense of prosperity. These are not steps that are
necessarily taken in any particular order. Rather, they describe
different elements of the journey.

We each have our own unique path. We may focus on each of these
elements at various times and in various ways. At times we may even
work on all of them at once.

*** STEP ONE: GRATITUDE

Whether or not we feel particularly prosperous at the moment, the
truth is that most of us in modern Western society are enormously
prosperous, materially and in many other ways. We need only compare
our lives with the struggle for survival and subsistence that most
humans in history have experienced, and that a majority of people
in the world today are still experiencing, to realize how truly
fortunate we are. Many of us live better than the kings and queens
did a few centuries ago.

Whatever our individual troubles and challenges may be, it's
important to pause every now and then to appreciate all that we
have, on every level.

We need to literally "count our blessings", give thanks for them,
allow ourselves to enjoy them, and relish the experience of
prosperity we already have.

One simple way to do this is to write a list of every single thing
in your life that you feel grateful for and appreciate. Keep the
list in a notebook and add to it whenever you think of something
else, or whenever something especially good happens. You can even
make different pages or different sections in the notebook for each
area in your life, such as home, relationships, work, and so on.

When you wake up in the morning or before going to sleep at night,
take a minute or two while snuggling luxuriously in your bed to
think about what you appreciate in your life. If you are feeling
troubled about something, you needn't brush that aside. Acknowledge
that feeling as well, and simply let it be there, along with your
feelings of gratitude for what is working.

You may not be able to do this everyday, but remembering to do it
as often as possible will enormously expand your experience of
prosperity, and create space for more to come.

Make a practice, too, of expressing your appreciation as often as
possible to the people in your life who enhance your experience of
prosperity in many different ways. Let them know in your words and
your deeds how much they mean to you.

*** STEP TWO: AWARENESS

We all have certain ideas, attitudes, core beliefs, and emotional
patterns that limit our experience of prosperity. Deep feelings of
unworthiness, a sense of scarcity, fear of failure or success,
conflicting feelings and beliefs about money, and many other issues
can block our growth and fulfillment.

Also, we have each developed certain energies and disowned others,
which leaves us out of balance and unequipped to deal effectively
with certain aspects of our lives.

Most of these beliefs and patterns are initially unconscious; we
are not really aware of them and yet they control our lives. The
moment we begin to consciously recognize them, we are on the road
to having a real choice about how we live.

The dawning awareness about what doesn't work in how we are living
is by far the most powerful step in our growth. It is also the most
difficult and uncomfortable. As soon as we recognize a problem, we
are on the road to healing it. However, that healing takes time.

Meanwhile, we may have to watch ourselves repeat the same old
self-defeating patterns a few more times.

It's difficult to do this without getting frustrated and
self-critical. We need to understand how important this step of awareness is.
When
you are unconscious, you can repeat a behavior endlessly without
gaining much benefit. Once you have some awareness and can catch
yourself repeating the same behavior, you learn an enormous amount.
You really feel the pain of it.

Then you are able to explore other possible ways of handling the
same situation. It's not long before things start to change. You
don't have to make change. Focus on gaining awareness, and change
will follow.

*** STEP THREE: HEALING

While we can't force change, we can support and enhance the process
of change that we are going through. There are, of course, many
ways to go about supporting our healing and development. Different
tools and techniques are appropriate and helpful at different times
on our journey, and certain things are helpful to some people and
not to others. I believe we know intuitively what is right for us
at any given moment and can learn to trust and follow that inner
sense.

The work of healing needs to be done on all levels of our
existence. I have written about this extensively in The Four Levels
of Healing: A Guide to Balancing the Spiritual, Mental, Emotional,
and Physical Aspects of Life. The book contains many practical
suggestions and exercises.

I wish I could offer a simple magic formula for healing your life.
There is no quick and easy way, for on a deep level this is truly
our life's work. Teachers and healers who promise a quick fix or an
easy way are either misguided, or eager to sell their products.
(They may offer one piece of the puzzle, however.) I feel we need
to surrender to the fact that life is an ongoing adventure in
healing and growth, and learn to enjoy the ride!

I also feel that it is very important to get help and support from
others as we need it along the way. A good therapist, teacher,
healer, support group, wise friend, or mentor can be an invaluable
resource for our healing process.

*** STEP FOUR: FOLLOWING YOUR TRUTH

We all have within us a deep sense of what we need, and what is
right and true for us. To access this we need to pay attention to
our feelings and our intuition. We need to learn to listen deeply
to ourselves and to trust what we hear. And we need to risk acting
on what we feel to be true. Even if we make mistakes, we must do
this in order to learn and grow.

Here is a simple way to practice paying attention to your inner
wisdom:

Find a comfortable, quiet place where you will not be interrupted
for a few minutes. It's wonderful to do this outdoors if you can
find a place that's really comfortable; a peaceful place indoors is
fine, too. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your
eyes and begin to pay attention to your breath. Breathe slowly and
deeply. Whenever your mind wanders, gently come back to focusing on
your breath and relaxing your body.

Now shift your attention and the focus of your energy down into
your heart or belly area. Imagine that a very wise part of you
lives in this area of your body, and it has a message for you right
now. Ask what the message is, and then relax and pay attention to
whatever thought, feeling, or image comes to you.

Take whatever comes and be with it for a few moments. Don't worry
if you don't fully understand it. Just sit with it a little. Ask
your inner guidance if you need to be aware of or be reminded of
anything else. Then thank your inner guidance. When you feel
complete, open your eyes. If you wish, you can write a little about
what you experienced.

Do this simple meditation as often as you can. It's great to do
first thing in the morning or last thing at night. With some
practice, you will develop your ability to receive and follow your
inner guidance.

*** STEP FIVE: CREATING A VISION

What would a truly prosperous life look and feel like for you?

Where and how would you live? How would you feel about yourself?

How would your body feel?

What would your relationships be like? What kind of work or
creative expression would you have? What other aspects of your
lifestyle can you imagine? How would a typical day in your life
unfold? How would you feel at the end of your day?

It's important to imagine how you would like things to be. Our
imagination is a powerful creative tool. Once we can vividly
imagine something, it often opens the door to manifesting it.

Remember that none of us exists in a vacuum. We are powerfully
affected by the world around us, and we have an equally powerful
effect on the world, whether or not we realize it. We are an
integral part of the whole. We can only have a truly prosperous
life to the extent that our world is prosperous. And our world can
only be truly prosperous when we learn to honor and respect the
earth we live on, and all the other beings - human and otherwise --
who live here as well.

Those of us fortunate enough to live in circumstances where we have
the luxury of pursuing personal growth have a responsibility to use
what we learn to make the world a healthier, more prosperous place
for all.

Since we are all ultimately part of one consciousness, the most
effective way to do that is to take responsibility for our own
healing. The more conscious and balanced we become, the more we
live in integrity and follow our truth, the more healing we bring
to the world. We need to ask our inner guidance, too, if there are
specific actions we need to take to make our contribution to the
world.

Create a vision of prosperity for yourself and the world, in
harmony with the earth. You can do this in meditation, or you can
write out a description of your vision. Another wonderful thing is
to make an actual picture of it by drawing or painting, or make a
collage by collecting photos, cards, pictures and words cut out of
magazines, elements from nature - anything that has meaning to you -- and gluing
them onto a large piece of paper or cardboard. Hang
it on your wall, and it becomes your treasure map - every time you
look at it, you will give energy to your vision.

*** STEP SIX: SETTING GOALS

Once you have a sense of your overall vision for a truly prosperous
life, you can set some specific goals. There are times in life when
it is helpful to set goals, and other times when it is best to let
go of goals for a while and just see where life takes you. If you
check in with yourself and it doesn't feel right, skip the goals
process for now. If it feels exciting, fun, or helpful, go ahead
and give it a try.

You might start by creating a special notebook for your goals.
Think of the different aspects of your life that are important and
make a list of them.

For example:
Personal Growth
Health/Appearance
Relationships
Work/Career
Finances
Home/Possessions
Recreation/Travel
Creative Expression/Special Interests
Making a Difference/Service
Write one of these categories at the top of each page.

Then think about your relatively long-term goals. Where would you
like to be in five to ten years, in each of these areas? Write one
or two long-term goals for each aspect of your life on the
appropriate page. If you like, you can write your goals in the form
of affirmations, in the present tense, as if they were already true.

Go through the process once again, this time creating one or two
one-year goals in each category. Try to be realistic with your
one-year goals; pie in the sky will only set you up for
disappointment.

Now go back through each category, and write down one to three
reasonable steps you can take toward each goal. Choose a few of
these steps to take within the next month or so. Here are some
examples of long-term goals, shorter-term goals, and action steps:

* WORK/CAREER *

Long-term goal: To become a family therapist.
One-year goal: To go back to college and complete my master's
degree.

Action steps:

1. Call local colleges and have them send me information and
applications.

2. Read through materials and decide which schools interest me.

3. Complete and send in application.

* CREATIVE EXPRESSION *

Long-term goal: To learn to play the piano.
One-year goal: To take piano lessons.

Action steps:

1. Ask musician friends about possible teachers.

2. Call piano store about renting a piano.

Once you have created your goals, put them away for a while. Look
at them occasionally and update them as needed. Be sure to
appreciate yourself for the steps you have taken, and the progress
you have made.

Goals can help us gain clarity, inspiration, and focus. However,
they can also work against us if we hold onto them too tightly, or
try too hard to make them happen. Try to let go of your attachment
to having them happen in a certain time or way. Don't worry about
how to make them happen; let the higher creative power handle the
details.

Hold your goals lightly, and allow them to change and evolve as you
do.

You may find that certain things are going as you hoped, while
others aren't. You may even find your whole life is going in a
different direction than you expected. Remember that our souls have
a purpose in this life that we may not fully understand yet, and
everything that happens to us is part of our soul's journey.

Learn from everything that comes your way. Continue to follow your
intuitive sense. If a certain goal is right for you, it will unfold
naturally from this process. Let your inner guidance show you the
way.

*** STEP SEVEN: SHARING YOUR GIFTS

As you follow these steps, you will find yourself naturally
expressing and developing the special talents and abilities that
you brought into this life. When you follow your heart, and are
committed to your healing and growth, you simply can't help
becoming more and more of who you are meant to be!

Often we have difficulty recognizing and appreciating our own
talents, because they come so naturally to us that they don't seem
like a big deal. The things we find ourselves gravitating toward,
the things we can't help doing, are important indications of what
we are here to do. The things we feel passionate about are clues to
our life purpose.

Ask yourself, "What do I love to do? What do I just naturally find
myself doing?" For example, I just can't help talking about
consciousness growth. I'm fascinated by the process, and passionate
about sharing it with people. As things have unfolded, I've ended
up teaching and writing about personal growth for a living. I did
not plan this, nor could I have predicted it. It's what evolved as
I followed my interests and desires.

Unless we are blocked in our ability to succeed or receive, life
always rewards us appropriately for what we give. Through answering
what calls us, we develop our right livelihood. Essentially, the
universe pays us to be ourselves, as fully as possible!

The opportunity to share our gifts and thereby make a difference in
the world is one of the most profoundly fulfilling experiences we
can have in life, and an essential ingredient in creating true
prosperity. As we live our lives with integrity and passion, our
experience of prosperity just keeps expanding.

This article is excerpted from the book Creating True Prosperity, by
Shakti Gawain.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Frienz Make Life Bearable

Thanks to my Standard Gang buddies!! Thanks for coming to see my mummy during the week end.. They r Qin, Qi and Hua..and 1 is found guilty of not coming..with the excuse of “busy”..muhaha.. =) I Love U guys man!!! Muack Muack Muack!!! Heez..

To Qin: God will bless both our mummy..dun worry kay..take care..Thanks for coming despite ur mum’s condition.. =)

To Qi: Thanks for coming..Ya a brave gal..with wat u have been thru which is much more worst than me..Though he may not be ard..but he will always by ur side watching over ya.. =)

To Hua: Sometimes gals maybe unreasonable..like wat I said b4..u dun need to understand gals..juz love them can liao..U r her Love, her support, her frien..her everything..tats y she need much more attention from ya than any other body.. Cos u r in her heart tats y every little thing u do means a lot to her..u may think that u din any wrong..but she may not feel uncomfortable in the things u did or u didn’t do.. tats y she may “chu stunt” heez..though the relationship is long..but u cant becos it long and missing out all the sweet moments and those doting that gals need..heez..every gal likes to be pamper.. =) mst impt cherish her…

To Jie: U r found guilty!!! Muhaha… =P juz joking lar..U have really helped mei a lot alot..always listening to mei's problem and complains..heez..thank you very much.. ^^

U r great man guys!!! I dunno wat will I be without U guys.. U r all always there to support me when I am down and depress.. Thanx for coming to visit my mum despite sm of u din see my mum b4..Muackz!!! I really love u guys!!! ^^ Once again thanx!!!


Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Walked Away

It all started out when my sis tried to show me that she is doing a roster for us all do the housework..I told her no point to do such a roster..who ever is free and have the heart to do it we will do..and when she did that my eldest sis will sure unhappy.. She did not heel my advice and printed out the roster and paste it on the fridge..I saw my eldest sis reading it..then i went to my sis room and told her that i have already told her not to do that y the hell she go and do it? Her face immediately turned black..took the roster and tear it into pieces..and shouted at me..and msn me “I HATE U FOREVER!!” The very moment i feel my sis still have not grown up and childish..

She slammed the door and throw out all the clothes on the floor..Dad was very furious..he cant shout at my sis so he came into my room and shouted at me..say y i wanna quarrel with my sis..i told him that i did not..wat i did was tell her not to do that..but he keep shouting at me putting all the fault on me..and i buay tahan and shouted back at him and to avoid more furious quarrel i ask him to leave my room..then he even more furious and shouted more loudly at me..and starting to say very nasty words..

I changed and walked out of my house at ard 11.45 to avoid me shouting back at my dad.. when i walked out crying..aimless..wanted to call jie..but some1 else called me at tat moment..tat some1 came to comfort me..reali appreciate tat..my fone keep ringing after i leave the house..my mum called..but i tot its my dad tat called so i din ans all the calls..and he msg me very nasty words again..using my mum to threaten me..i did not reply him instead i msg my mum and tell her i am out..asking her not to worry..

Went home and guess wat i saw..my sis pasted a paper on her door for me to see..on the paper she wrote “I HATE U!!!” i ignore the paper and close up my door and went to bed..

This morning while i bathing..several fone calls came in..when i came out mummy told me that the doctor called..she went for another scan yest which cost 1 over k for the scan alone..and the result is out..the result show that her cancer cells have spread to her bones already tats y she keep having pain...she cried..i also cried..she said dunno how long can she live..we cried together..but very soon she asked me to go and prepare for work..

Dun feel like going home for dinner these daes..but i feel mummy wants me to accompany her..cos she dote on me the most..I know she fear..I fear too..

She is warded again today..to prepare for another operation on Friday..Which is a very very high risk operation..cos its operation her bones..its all near her nerves..but if she do not go for the operation she will paralysis soon..but to do this operation..she may be taken away from us...

God pls dun take her away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ='''(


Tuesday, June 28, 2005

痴心绝对

李圣杰 Lee. Sam

想用一杯Latte把你灌醉 好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味 你不懂这种感觉 早有人陪的你永远不会

看见你和他在我面前 证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴 是你永远不曾过的体会

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备 静静关上门来默数我的泪

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

曾经我以为我自己会后悔 不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你做任何改变 也唤不回你对我的坚决

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Only Love

Trademark

2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're tellin' me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're askin' me

Chorus:
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my heart
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust

Chorus

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our goodbye

Chorus

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck.

One pot had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream... "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The bearer ! said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. "Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You must take each person for what they are, and look for the good in each one.


 Posted by Hello

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Hands


Guess whose hand was that with a ring on the middle figger? There are total 7 person's hands there..hmm..they are..Qin, Qi, Me, Hua, Xiong, Bryan and Vincent..Guess correctly whose hand was that and u gotta choose from the 4 fabulous guy and one of they will give u a peck on the cheek!!!muhaha... =P Posted by Hello


Its so dark in here...can u see us?? Posted by Hello


OoOo..Guess Whose body is this and u will get to meet the person face to face if u got it correct!! lol.. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Me Minus U Equals Blue

Medeiros Glenn
Composição: Desconhecido

ME MINUS U EQUALS BLUE

With all my heart, I pledge my love forever
You’ve got my word, you and I will always be together
There maybe times, we have a disagreement
This love’s too strong, to ever let it come between us

I would, I would keep this love alive Oh baby
I would, I would be cause otherwise

Me minus u equals blue
Can’t imagine what I ever do
If it’d ever came to
Me minus u equals blue
I can’t stand the thought I’ve lost so far
Like so many hearts being in the dark
It’ll never be me minus u

Each day I learn, a little more about you
Then I know for sure, that I’d never wanna be without you
With all the stage of truth of this relation
Me without your love is such a sad equation baby

I would, I would keep this love alive Oh baby
I would, I would be cause otherwise

Me minus u equals blue
Can’t imagine what I ever do
If it’d ever came to
Me minus u equals blue
I can’t stand the thought I’ve lost so far
Like so many hearts being in the dark
It’ll never be…

What we got can’t get much better
I would never change a thing
Baby we’re so good together
Then I’ll never, never ever want it to be me

Me minus u equals blue
Me minus u equals blue
Can’t imagine what I ever do
If it’d ever came to
Me minus u equals blue
I can’t stand the thought I’ve lost so far
I want you in my life
I can’t be without your love

Me minus u equals blue
Can’t imagine what I ever do
If it’d ever came to
Me minus u equals blue
I can’t stand the thought I’ve lost so far
I need you here with me

Monday, June 13, 2005

Y am I here?

Super depress today… It something that that I trying hard to let go as it was not heading anywhere, any progress..

Im still waiting and hoping…but as I wait and try to do something to make it works..it doesn’t seem to move...nothing happens..

Maybe I’m impatient...maybe it’s already part of me tats y I fear..or maybe im afraid..or maybe I lack of something..i dunno…I just feel lost..

I dunno wat to do..tell me wat to do!!tell me!!I’m drained and depress cos of the things happened…

I become a mono person..acted to be happy..smile whenever I need to..laugh whenever I need to..tok when ever I need to..short temper..always tearing..

Aniwae..Today office network got problem..till late afternoon then they manage to solve it by buying a new router and modem..

Did nothing much today..instead blurr blurr..today then I found out that I made a mistake..my colleagues salary all r actually higher than me..im the lowest..i always tot they r lower than me cos when I prepare the pay roll that time I tot they r drawing that much..but I forgotten abt the CPF thingy...no wonder my boss wanna hire me..haha…aniwae it doesn’t matter..just work hard and dun lose my job can liao..

Lotsa calls come in today on my mobile fone..i ans the 1st one..cos im afraid that it maybe my sch that calls..in the end its not..and its was my issuance agent that called saying that they cant deduct the amount from my bank..cos I canceled the giro last 2 months ago if im not wrong..now then they realize..aniwae..told him I wanna cancel 1..cos I need money..then I think think think..maybe I should cancel both…I need wat issuance? If 1 dae I got cancer then even better...get out this ugly world faster..He tried to chat with me at the same time which I cut him off quickly..

Din ans all the calls after that..

Wat am I?? Y am I here??

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Some words for ya~

For all guys out there...esp those with special someone...
Quoted from Mingli's blog...

女人可以為了一件小得不能再小的事,
發一場大得不能再大的脾氣。

因為女人對所愛的人有所要求,
有所期望,所以常常會失望、失落,
因此,女人容易對愛人發脾氣。

Woman are unreasonable. Therefore you guys don't have to understand them, just love them.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

My Downs...

Din blog for quite sometimes..kinda tire..stress..depress..scare…worried..

Mummy got 4th stage of cancer..which is the last stage of cancer...I never stop crying when i heard the news..waiting outside the operation theater which is much worst...predicted supoose to be a 2 hours operation went far beyond it to 5 hours operation..Mummy went in for the operation at abt 10.30am…but she was push out of the operation place at ard 7pm oni..

I forced back my tear when she is being push out..so that she wun see me cry…Daddy cried too when he told me that mummy condition was actually much much much worst than wat the doctor actually see..when they operate on my mummy they then find out that mummy’s cancer cells has spread all over..lots of her parts was removed..the cancer that was actually on her liver cannot be done on the same dae was it will threaten her life…it has to be done at least 3 months later..

After the operation..mummy have to keep on pressing for morphine to ease her pain..my heart ache for her when I see her suffer…

Lotsa ppl come and visit my mummy during her stay in the hospital..esp my relative from my daddy side..some almost come everydae.. probably because of my uncle death they appreciate lives much more and probably to give my daddy some support as he is super depress..my 2 precious buddies also came to visit my mummy and keep moi accompany too!thanx so much!!

Its not the end after this operation…mummy still gotta go for chemotherapy...Actually the doctor said mummy need to go for 3 sessions…but…after that operation...the doctor said she need to go for at least half a year...1 session cost 2k near 3k…when mummy heard that…she cried….and she wanted to give up on the treatment…daddy also worried…cos the bill will dry us up…it will total up to at least 40k or much more..the insurance that she has had already all used up on her major operation..

Mummy discharge last 2 daes..but she still super weak..her back still keep on pain..realli dunno wat to do…

Daddy took whole week of unpaid leaves to take care of her..cos all his leaves have been used up during his trip with mummy to aust…Daddy say that he wanna bring mummy to Europe after mummy recovers..cos mummy always wan to go there…but now dun think it wouldnt be so soon…cos all the money will be use for mummy’s treatment.. how I wish I can fulfill their dreams…

Really hope mummy will fight against this demon and win this battle with all our support and love~And hope mummy get well soon…

Result out recently...got super bad results..so bad that the sch called up and ask me back for interview...Realli feel like giving up..but when I think of its daddy and mummy dream for me to get a degree I dunno wat to do...maybe I should just try on again…aniwae see hows the interview ba...im sorry to my freinz that ask me how I fare..i just too ashamed to say out my results…

Its stressful at work too..with lotsa things to learn..but the thing is not the learning part..but my position is always shaking...with a boss that likes to sack ppl when he/she cant perform or he doesn’t like…he just came back on tues..the moment he is back..i feel the pressure and the stress.. and the cash flow of this company not very good…actually its not hard for me to find another job..but I feel that I just cant afford to waste time on finding and choosing cos we need money..and I need money to pay for my sch fee too..

Unlove too..Missing someone who is dear to u is bad…

My body gets problematic again..

Guess wat..today is moi BD..haha…and I am here writing my bloggie..but not too bad..at least my frein help me found a song that I wanted it so badly..but just cannot able to find it..thanx you~! Got a few sms greeting from my buddies…U all r really my precious freinz…u all never fail to stand beside me when I am down..thank you so much.. If I did something wrong in the past..pls forgive me…

I wish...

May God protect and take care of those who r dear to me…let them happy always..


Monday, May 30, 2005

Dear God...

Dear God…I am calling out to you again… I am praying for my mummy…Please please please bless my mummy..I know I have not being a good girl all this while..making her angry and heart ache and sad… I really cant accept the ugly truth of her having cancer!! i really cant… We have no family history of cancer! How can u put her thru this?? Please put her pain and suffering to me instead…Please spare her!!! Please please please…

Im scare…I cant help keep tearing when I am not ard her…I dun wanna make her worry…I never though of such thing will happen to my family…Dear god I am willing to give up everything for her health…pls return back my mummy her health…U are making daddy’s health deteriorating too…daddy is so worry and sad…daddy have heart problem..he cant take too much stress and worry…he is having chest pain recently again…please dun torture them any more…

Mummy went to the GP at 1st complaining of abdominal pain..then slowly got worst the pain...& she lost in weight and bowel habits changed..so the doctor made her went for an x-ray b4 she went for aust..but she went back to the doctor with the result the doc not in and the other doc do not dare to make any comments..Then when she get to see the doctor the doctor asked her to go and see a professor in NUH who later put her thru the ct scan..and the professor was busy this while so the results come out quite long..and the result show that she may have a high chance of metastatic colon cancer…She was warded when the result was out and becos she did not response to the pain killer and jabs tat was given to her to ease her pain…but later the doctor let her home asking her to come back for all the scans and tests coming up…and they put her thru another test which cost another boom when she was warded tat dae…she has to go back to and fro the hospital and scan if the cancer has spread to her bones or not which may be causing her her pain....

Hope tat mummy is well and the damn doctors had made a damn huge stupid mistake..if not hope mummy will under go the op and recover soon..im scare actually..this is cancer not other small illnesses..even my uncle went for a common surgery suddenly die like tat..im scare..mummy tears..i know mummy scare..im also scare..but nothing i can do except to be strong & pray and take care and support her...just hope every thing goes well...

God please bless my parents…And let them esp my mummy get well soon..

Mummy Daddy…I know I have not being a good girl and keep making both of you worry, sad and angry..pls forgive me…I Love U all…

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Office Look

Some pics for ya all to see how my office looks like…using the K750i tat boss lent moi…all pics are taken from where i am sitting..


My 2 colleagues’ seats…the pantry is at the opening there…nothing much though…


My the other colleague's seat...


My boss's seat! Just right side me... -_-'"


My desk and my lappy~!!Doing some scanning...


My special drawer which put all the invoices..petty cash..letters etc...


Some inventory storage place.. behide still got alot...


Warehouse conrner...muhaha..


My 3 female colleagues..


My 2 colleagues desk...


My desk!


My desk again...


I know my desk is abit messy...heez..


The crowd in the mrt went i go to work...


A rough idea of my office..din snap was the sales corner and behide the machine and inventories...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Abit...

Abit insane…abit down…abit gloomy…abit worried…abit tire..abit lost...abit sad…abit heart ache…abit depress…abit blurr today…

Just wanna let out some bad emotions here…

Mummy got her results for her CT scan recently…which cost $600 plus which I mention before…the doctor say tat they scanned something…her large intestine may have cancer…it shock me..they have to take a sample out to test next 2 daes to confirm…

This remind me of my sis which had an operation because of her intestine…she got a abt 15cm long operation scar now…and gotta go back to hospital to check up every now and then…

Hope everything come out fine when they test on my mummy again…esp the result…

Super busy today…lotsa thing to learn..lotsa thing to remember..lotsa things to settle…piles and plies of invoices to be key in, record, file in etc…petty cash payment…letters to sort out…reformat the previous gal data in the system as its in a mess…no time to have lunch…learn to do sales too…GST return...etc etc etc… “bao sua bao hai” guess wat..they r using MYOB system!

Gone insane today…

Blurr too…hold on to a letter that I got to post during my way home…passed by at least 2 post box..but the letter which is on my hand all the while never enter the post box…I just keep walking and walking..and brought the letter home…gotta post it tmw when I go to work tmw…

But so far still okay with work…boss usually let us off an hour earlier! Haha..at last something to happy abt…

Boss also lend me a new fone he got dunno from where which is not launch in local yet…it will be launch 13th of next month I heard…below will be some pics and info abt the fone…aniwae ani buyers? Its selling at abt $1k or more in the market I guess…it’s a 2 mega pixel with auto focus camera…just quote me ur price and I will ask my boss abt it…heez…oh..i shld mark the price higher..cos I sticked on a custom made protector on the screen!Gonna earn some commisson from here...Rem..its sticked on by me!!heez…

Hai…my life not tat great…lotsa things happened…I’m lost…aimless…guess now nothing shld concern me more than my mummy’s health, work and studies…let go of the past and wat happened…just let go of some thing…just look forward…be strong…Come wat may~~ I will always pray for my love ones...

Here are some info abt the fone…Click on any of the fone pic to link to the webby to know more abt the fone...



Vertical, horizontal, always on top
Good looks with attitude. Vertical - it's a phone. Flip the K750i over to horizontal, and it's a camera. Dual front. Feel the balance, experience the ease-of-use. The K750i - power imaging stylishly packaged.



Digital Still Camera interface
If you're into photography, you'll probably recognise the camera menus and interface from Sony digital still cameras. Just slide the active lens cover open to change from the phone to the Digital Still Camera interface.



Crystal-clear K750i screen
The power imaging features of the K750i are done justice by the crisp, crystal-clear 176x220 pixel 262K TFT screen.



Illumination
The light guidance function indicates which features are currently available for use. Slide the active lens cover open, and the camera button lights up. And check out the light effect when starting up or shutting down your K750i - synchronised, smooth, cool.



Enjoy
The K750i is full of music. An RDS FM radio for quality entertainment around the clock, advanced digital music player with your favourite songs, and PlayNow™ for quick and easy Music tone download. Games inside and online. You can enjoy the latest mobile games with impressive sound and graphics.



2.0-megapixel quality
The great 2.0-megapixel camera with Autofocus and 4x digital zoom delivers the best picture quality. Add the ability to shoot video clips. Take your K750i on your holidays - in fact, take it everywhere you go, and you'll always be able to catch the moment. In sharp, clear colours.









Monday, May 23, 2005

Come What May

Ewan Mcgregor And Nicole Kidman

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love more and more
Listen to my heart
Can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change
Winter to spring
But I love you until
The end of time
CHORUS:
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems
Such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with
Such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life
Doesn't seem such a waste
But our world revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song
I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until
The end of time

Repeat chorus

Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you
I will love you
Suddenly the world seems
Such a perfect place

Repeat chorus

Saturday, May 21, 2005

爱你让我勇敢 - 杜德伟/苏慧伦

女声:苏慧伦

像小提琴配上美妙的弦
和你在一起日子这么甜
现在就是永远 我不在乎世界变不变

不会有两颗心比我们和谐
能侃侃而谈 能彼此温暖
一天不见面 就开始想念

哦~~爱你让我勇敢
什么事都不难

想你想的坦然
不再心烦意乱

眼角的泪水 总能被你的笑容擦干
从此一个人 也不会觉得自己孤单
让我勇敢

Letter~

Woke up this morning and found a parcel on my lappy…

Open it up..itside was a letter & something else was in it…

Opened up the letter and read…

Its was from the uncle that has always concern and taking care of me when I am in the shop last time..

Those who are close to me will know who I am referring…

There is no blood relation between us…

But his love for me is like a father and daughter…

He got 2 daughters too…1 of them is studying in SIM too…

Probably she is jealous of his father concern over me or wat…she slowly become unfriendly towards me..walk pass the shop will always “gim” me…

Uncle will always buy things for me to eat..when he goes down town..he will but some specialties from there to let me try…He knows that I am studying..and keep encouraging me…and gave me lotsa books for me to read up…He collects coins too..thats y now and then he will pass me some of his coins..some of them he bought it specially for me..1 of them which cost probably more than 3k..its a gold coin…He even gave me collectable notes…and mind u..those notes are not those 2 dollar notes or wat..mostly r high value notes…He always give limited edition coins and notes..any thing he feel its special he will buy for me…

He is probably older than me daddy…

He is a nice uncle…

Wanted to tell him I leaving the shop before I left the shop..but I have no chance to meet him as he din walk pass the shop for very long…

From the letter then I know that he actually tripped and fell on a path leading to his apartment…fracturing his right thigh-bone…He stayed in the hospital for 15 daes…because of his heart condition the doctors have to extract all his teeth to prevent bacteria from entering through his teeth to attack his heart during the operation…Now recuperating at home…

Poor him..

Guess wat..he send me coin again..a collectable coin with my year on it..

May the angels protect him from harm too…